So Im at the half of my game versus the powerhouse, Elton Brand-less(injury) Clippers, led by the greatest center to ever pick up a basketball (that includes rec league, pick up games and Rucker Park) Chris Kaman. Im losing 50-24. A few thoughts.
- Sam Cassells got it baby. He's got "I can make insanely crazy" shot-itis.
- Kaman is so good he should be outlawed. Srsly!
- Who the fuck at EAs' idea was it to fucking make me have to calculate wind speed, angles, velocity etc to shoot a fucking decent jump shot? Seriously.
- Unless you have amazing DUNKERS, you will lose. And that isnt even always true. For some reason Darius Miles, with a tremendous amount of momentum mind you, will go up for a dunk only to bump into an opposing player mid-dunk, therfore causing his body to contort and instead attempt an ass-fuckingly stupid looking layup, that looks akin to something an old lady would attempt.
- I missed 7 wide open layups. As in I drove to the basket, pressed the fancy "layup" button and somehow the ball skidded along the outside of the rim, to fall on the ground, where a player from the opposite end of the court sprints to the ball faster then the dumbass who just attempted the layup.
-Whose fucking idea was it to make me press down and up to make a fucking free throw? Goddamn it. And how come I've made one free throw in 3 months?
- I thought this game had "turbo"? How come my guys don't have it?
Fuck you EA Sports.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
57-51
So, I lost to the Warriors. Not suprising.
A few notes about the game.
- I really wish someone would of sent me the memo about Baron Davis being the best basketball player to ever step on the court. Seriously, the ease in which he made his RIDICULOUS shot's is amazing. Im so glad to be playing defense on a guy who holds the ball until the shot clock is down to 2 seconds, and then, with the simplest of motions, shoot and make a three. Awesome.
- I also forgot that Jason Richardson and Davis were the best tandem of defenders in all of the NBA. I never knew Richardson was so keen on defense.
- The entire Golden State Warriors team would be amazing NFL defensive backs. Passing the ball to ANYONE but a wide open teammate is basically impossible. Shotty, shitty AI and gameplay you say? NEVER. Basketball is a very tactical sport, and you must always make sure your teammate is wide open before passing. The paint is like a forbidden zone. You pass anywhere in the paint, and you can kiss the ball goodbye.
- Who the fuck picks the "x-factor" players, seriously? Most of the time, when they show who my "x-factor" is, it's some obscure fucking bench player that I have, that I've never heard of. Seriously, fuck you EA.
-The game plays like a girl. You start up, and your doing amazing. Then all of a sudden it changes and you start getting doubts and mixed signals. Eventually, she stops talking to you altogether and starts fucking a guy who works at Taco Bell, because he has a tattoo. Her fucking the guy from Taco Bell is akin to when some scrub ass player from another team starts to curb stomp the shit out of you, with amazing shots and an elevated sense of skill.
-Oh my god, my player is feeling it...he's flashing or something.... QUICK WHAT 4 BUTTON COMBO DO I DO TO MAKE A FUCKING 18 FOOT JUMPSHOT?!?!
A few notes about the game.
- I really wish someone would of sent me the memo about Baron Davis being the best basketball player to ever step on the court. Seriously, the ease in which he made his RIDICULOUS shot's is amazing. Im so glad to be playing defense on a guy who holds the ball until the shot clock is down to 2 seconds, and then, with the simplest of motions, shoot and make a three. Awesome.
- I also forgot that Jason Richardson and Davis were the best tandem of defenders in all of the NBA. I never knew Richardson was so keen on defense.
- The entire Golden State Warriors team would be amazing NFL defensive backs. Passing the ball to ANYONE but a wide open teammate is basically impossible. Shotty, shitty AI and gameplay you say? NEVER. Basketball is a very tactical sport, and you must always make sure your teammate is wide open before passing. The paint is like a forbidden zone. You pass anywhere in the paint, and you can kiss the ball goodbye.
- Who the fuck picks the "x-factor" players, seriously? Most of the time, when they show who my "x-factor" is, it's some obscure fucking bench player that I have, that I've never heard of. Seriously, fuck you EA.
-The game plays like a girl. You start up, and your doing amazing. Then all of a sudden it changes and you start getting doubts and mixed signals. Eventually, she stops talking to you altogether and starts fucking a guy who works at Taco Bell, because he has a tattoo. Her fucking the guy from Taco Bell is akin to when some scrub ass player from another team starts to curb stomp the shit out of you, with amazing shots and an elevated sense of skill.
-Oh my god, my player is feeling it...he's flashing or something.... QUICK WHAT 4 BUTTON COMBO DO I DO TO MAKE A FUCKING 18 FOOT JUMPSHOT?!?!
Game 2 of the season.
This is going to be my first game.
I originally played the season opener, agaisnt the Supersonics, and was handidly destroying them to the tune of 32-20.
Then Ray Allen was phantom-fouled by Dan Dickau (ahhh phantom fouls. Gotta love em. Thanks EA.) and went to the line to shoot.
Game freezes. The players are still swaying to and fro, the crowd noise is there, but Ray Allen is standing at the line, waiting for the ball, as the dumbshit referee sits there, holding the ball.
After 3 minutes of this, I turned it off.
Then I restarted my dynasty, and started playing the Sonics. I was losing 25-9.
I love the AI in this game. I can be beating a team one minute, and the next Im getting my colon cleansed as Ray Allen takes a bevy of off-balance and Matrix-esque three point shots (Im suprised EA didn't put in bullet-time in this game. Fuck, I already have to press like 4 buttons just to fucking make a spinning jump shot in the post.)
Needless to say I quit. I am currently playing the Warriors, and I shall update it when Im done.
I originally played the season opener, agaisnt the Supersonics, and was handidly destroying them to the tune of 32-20.
Then Ray Allen was phantom-fouled by Dan Dickau (ahhh phantom fouls. Gotta love em. Thanks EA.) and went to the line to shoot.
Game freezes. The players are still swaying to and fro, the crowd noise is there, but Ray Allen is standing at the line, waiting for the ball, as the dumbshit referee sits there, holding the ball.
After 3 minutes of this, I turned it off.
Then I restarted my dynasty, and started playing the Sonics. I was losing 25-9.
I love the AI in this game. I can be beating a team one minute, and the next Im getting my colon cleansed as Ray Allen takes a bevy of off-balance and Matrix-esque three point shots (Im suprised EA didn't put in bullet-time in this game. Fuck, I already have to press like 4 buttons just to fucking make a spinning jump shot in the post.)
Needless to say I quit. I am currently playing the Warriors, and I shall update it when Im done.
NBA Live ruined my life.
I started this blog, because I got tired of playing NBA Live 2007 and not being able to vent about some of the assfuckingly retarded "features" and gameplay.
NBA Live 2007 is one of the most frustratingly ridiculous games to play. EVER.
And Im a fat ass whose been playing video games since I was 5. I had NES. I had Sega. I had 32x bitches. I had Sega channel.
But no game I have ever played has made me as mad as NBA Live 2007.
So, as to make it easier, I will be playing a dynasty mode with the Portland Trail Blazers and writing about all the stupid ass shit that happens to me.
NBA Live 2007 is one of the most frustratingly ridiculous games to play. EVER.
And Im a fat ass whose been playing video games since I was 5. I had NES. I had Sega. I had 32x bitches. I had Sega channel.
But no game I have ever played has made me as mad as NBA Live 2007.
So, as to make it easier, I will be playing a dynasty mode with the Portland Trail Blazers and writing about all the stupid ass shit that happens to me.
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